woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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