Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
