she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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