So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
