Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Randomize
