ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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