It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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