She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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