it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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