Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
