i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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