I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
