just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
