problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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