my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
