Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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