he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
