do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
