Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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