Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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