I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
