Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The adults are the big ones right?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
