Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
