There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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