i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
