Your face is a jimmy john
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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