Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
