Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
