I am puke
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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