I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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