from now on my penis is your penis
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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