That's when you crack a 10am beer
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
