we're blogging at a bar
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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