Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
