Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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