if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
