I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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