My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
do herpes really smell.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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