dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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