Need sex. Gaining weight.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
