tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
