Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
