Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
