i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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