He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
