It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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