Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
