I'm eating all of the evidence.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
