I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
