I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
