clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
