I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
im drinking this country out of the recession.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
