So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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