So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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