I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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