He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
