But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize