dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
