I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
