dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
