i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
