he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize