i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
