I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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