:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
