Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
there is glitter all over my balls
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